The (Brutal) Honesty of Children

Everyday millions of random people become victims of childhood honesty (this statistic is purely fictional).  As any parent you learn quickly that your child's honesty can be brutal.  So I thought I would just share some brutal gems that my own children have laid on me over the years.

You know you have been a victim of childhood honesty if...while sharing a public restroom stall with your child they decide to announce to the other occupants exactly how big your bum is.  For the record mine is 7 'bigs', as in, "Mom you have a big, big, big, Big, Big, BIG, BIG bottom".  This may be accompanied with a chorus of snickers from the other patrons, and a few may even try to check out exactly how big your bum really is.  Good Times.

You know you have been a victim of childhood honesty if...when you serve up soup for dinner you over hear your children say, "Hey, lets pretend that we live in a orphanage.  That should help us eat this stuff."  Good to see them using their imagination more.

You know you have been a victim of childhood honesty if...your child snuggles up to you.  Gently lays her head upon your shoulder, while wrapping her arm around yours and then whispers lovingly, "Mom, when I grow up I hope I have super fat arms just like yours...they make cuddling super comfy." I'm happy to oblige, dear child.

You know you have been a victim of childhood honesty if... you've ever heard the phrase, "Mom, I was sure dinner was going to be nasty, like the last time you tried something new, but it wasn't all the awful."  You know dinner was a success when it "wasn't awful".  I live for those glowing reviews of my meals.

You know you have been a victim of childhood honesty if... you've ever overheard your child tell her classmate, "My mom's tummy always looks that big...maybe its because she's always pregnant."  Those recently lost five pounds didn't feel like such a success anymore.

You know you have been a victim of childhood honesty if... your child has ever asked, "If I become a mom is my stomach going to have those weird stripes on it?"  Yes, dear child, unless the genetics I passed to you radically mutated you too will fall victim to...stretch marks.

Childhood Honesty is a real thing, and does affect real individuals daily.  The best remedy for childhood honesty is the record all these little moments of brutal truth letting for posterities sake, and because revenge is sweet you should commit some of the more notorious moments to memory.  Then many years from now when you are a gray haired grandmother (or have clairol hair), you can snuggle with your grandchildren, and help them come up with their own little nuggets of brutal honesty to share with their parents.  Turnabout is after all fair play, and then another generation will carry on brutal (funny) honesty.  That my friends is a legacy to be proud of.