How the Beast Became a Beauty: How to Dye an Ugly Chair!

The 1970s were known for lots of things: Disco, Starsky and Hutch, Abba (don't pretend that you can't sing along to every Abba song ever made), and Señor Hotness.  One thing the 70s was a little sketchy on was their decor.

Don't look directly at the pattern.  I can't know for sure, but it could cause temporary blindness and/or seizures.  All joking aside this thing seemed to single handedly contain every ugly color the 1970s had to offer.

I came across this chair at a garage sale that our church's youth group hosted.  Some friends had donated it for the cause.  My first thought was yowsas this thing is beyond ugly, and it would be a miracle if it sold.  This chair had a hidden super power however...it was pretty much the most comfortable thing you'll ever put your butt on.   Have you ever met someone that is super homely, but the more you get to know them the prettier they get (you all know you have that one friend).  That is kind of how this functioned.  Only the comfort factor helped to override its extreme ugliness.

Did I mention, that in addition to the eye gouging color spectrum, that this chair had been garaged for so long that is was beyond yucky, musty smelling?  However, by the end of the garage sale I had worn Señor Hotness down (because he sat in it), and we brought the chair home.  

So what's a girl to do when in possession of a fantastically ugly chair, that you're far too lazy to re-uphoster? (Sorry Señor Hotness, I know thats what you though we were getting this sucker for.)  I had the brilliant idea that by dying it the floral pattern wouldn't seem so heinous, and we could mask the colors more to my liking.

So I bought a bottle of Rit's Royal Blue dye.  FYI peeps these bottles of dye DO NOT come with any kind of safety seal, child-proof cap, or anything keeping your curious kid from ruining your carpet if they get a hold of it (luckily for once this didn't happen to me).  So if you get the liquid kind, beware to keep it FAR out of reach of kidlets.

Ok so dying furniture has been all over pinterest for a while now.  I've seen several different methods of how to apply the dye.  I've seen it applied with a brush, and spritzed on with a standard hand spritzer.  The brush method seemed too time consuming (not something I wanted to attempt with our busy schedule).  The spritz method seemed too inconsistent.  Most of those that I saw had too much inconsistency in their color coverage.  Meaning its hard to get uniform application out of a hand spritzer.

So when Señor Hotness and I were at Lowe's the other day I saw this, and had a total light bulb moment.  This, my friends, is a $10 home and garden sprayer.  It looks like what exterminators use for a poison sprayer, and landscapers use it for killing weeds.  It is basically a pressurized water sprayer.  It is made to spray water like liquids.  So I thought it would be perfect for my dye project.  By pumping air into it I could have a continuous spray, and therefore get a very precise uniform coverage.

I don't know what you think, but I think it worked perfectly.

 This was after one coat of dye.

I put about a cup of white vinegar in my sprayer of dye to help set the dye to prevent rub off on the bums that seek out the legendary comfort of this extraordinary chair.

After I put a coat of dye on the chair it would sag under the added weight of the liquid.  Don't worry it will smooth out as it dries.

The flowers were still taunting me with their homeliness.

So then I hit it with a second coat.

Then a third.

It was at this point that I really wanted to call it quits.  Mostly because apparently dying the ugliness out of ones furniture will make the sky want to open up with moisture.  I find that super uncool.  I blame Louisiana.

I had myself completely talked into leaving it.  Until I picked my sisters brains about it.  I love sisters. They love me enough to be completely and sometimes brutally honest with me.  They gave it two big thumbs down.  So I pulled it into the garage, and let it chill out there for two weeks.

So when I went back to the drawing board I decided that while Royal Blue was pretty it just wasn't dark enough.  So the second time around I did half Royal Blue and half Navy Blue.  Again with the vinegar to help set my dye.

Already it looked so much better.  I went ahead and gave it a second coat, but that was mostly because I still had dye left over.

After the final coat I was able to get a slight rub off residue (boo), but only when I vigorously rubbed my hand on it.  So as soon as it was all dry I scotch guarded the ever loving crude out of the whole thing...twice.  After the scotch guard completely dried there was absolutely no residue no matter how vigorously I rubbed.  Which was super awesome because I have several other pieces that I would love to try this on, but didn't want to ruin any of my other nicer pieces.

In the end, I now have an uber comfy chair that is now thankfully more decade appropriate.  The entire make-over cost less than $20, including the cost of the chair, the sprayer, the dye, and the scotch guard.  Now instead of this chair being an eye sore it is not only a unique, beautiful piece, but a real conversation item for those familiar with how it looked before.

So next time don't pass up that ugly piece at the thrift store.  You can still save it with nothing more than a little dye and determination.

linked up at: www.shakentogetherlife.com, funkyjunkinteriors.net, www.the-chicken-chick.com, www.thededicatedhouse.com, betweennapsontheporch.net, www.simplelifeofafirewife.com, www.savvysouthernstyle.net, jannolson.blogspot.com

Ceiling Fans: Decor Hit or Miss?

This morning my daughter looked me in the face, and said with all the love in her heart, "Mom, you are a big fat piggy".  Then BAM, just like that, I became another faceless victim of brutal child honesty.  What does that have to do with ceiling fans you might ask?  Absolutely nothing. 

Okay, so I love watching design shows just as much as the next gal.  I mean, anytime Señor Hotness is out of town, the teen, the tween, and I stay up late(ish) doing facials and watch them together.  Its kind of a tradition.  One of my biggest pet peeves is how so many times the designers choose to ditch the ceiling fan.  This is a particularly heinous offense in the deep south.

Señor Hotness and I have moved around many times, but I must confess that Louisiana is the first state I've lived in that doesn't border Mexico.  In short folks, I have always lived where its H-O-T.  Just in case you all weren't aware anywhere in the deep south is also freakishly humid.  So here, where the humidity will make you want to pack up and move...every ten minutes, fans are an absolute must.  All silliness aside, if you don't keep the air circulating here everything will mold.  Its a real problem.

Which brings me to my family room.



This space is the bomb (is what I would say if this was the 90s), but the only problem, besides the beige, on beige, on beige color scheme happening all up in here, was no ceiling fan.

Which was super unfortunate since this is what our weather was looking like shortly after moving in. Have I mentioned the unbareable humidity that exists here sometimes?  Couple the 105 degrees with intense humidity, and holy heck, you want to die while sitting on your leather sofa ruining it with the fluid pouring off your body in the form of sweat trying to enjoy your new family room.

So as lovely as this fixture was.  It just wasn't cutting it.  We needed air movement.  We needed something to help cut the heat.  We needed a flipping fan!

We had this awesomeness to contend with after we removed the fixture, and I honestly still haven't don't anything about it.  Mostly because I was so flipping hot that I couldn't think straight.

So ceiling ring aside we set about getting a fan put up.  Now I know that there are a plethora of uber ugly fans kicking about out there.  I know when I think about ceiling fans I think about the ones my grandparents had in the 80s.  However for as many ugly fans there are there are just as many pretty ones.

If you've been hanging out here much in the past you will have noticed that I have a larger than normal love of french provincial style furniture.  That style usually screams for a more formal feel, but this being our family room, Señor Hotness wanted a less formal feel to this room.  So we decided to go with something that was a little less traditional feeling, and a little more contemporary but still beautiful nonetheless. 

I really love how it has glass with in glass.  Its simple yet there is slight elegance to the lines.  The best, however, is that we can now stand to hang in our family room once more.  You know so we can spend some cool time...as a family.  So I'm a fan of fans (awful pun, sorry), but I absolutely believe that with necessity you can still style.

linked up at: jannolson.blogspot.com, www.shakentogetherlife.com, funkyjunkinteriors.net, www.the-chicken-chick.com

Monkeys Begone

I don't have first hand knowledge, but I understand that monkeys are notorious poop flingers.  That being said that is not the precedence I want to set for one of my bathrooms.  Poop should never fling within the walls of this house.  Also it takes a super special chic to pull off monkey decor in a grown-up space.  I'm awesome, cool, quirky, delightful even, and special I'll grant you...but not that special though.

But even though Señor Hotness also hated the monkeys...he liked that the room looked "finished".

Here are a few up close pictures of the little buggers.

Yikes.  Now for the feel good tear down pictures.

This was more than a little therapeutic.

It came down so easily

Its like it was meant to be.

I'm not one to post potty pictures, but I have to say that behind the toilet was the hardest area to remove the wallpaper.  It came off the wall really well, but getting it loose of the pipes necessitated using scissors to get it off.  I don't think its possible to break plumbing with wallpaper, but I really didn't want to push my luck.

Señor Hotness REALLY hated it after I took it down.  The wall under the paper wasn't textured, and wasn't nice and smooth.  It was pitted, and pock marked, and I had no intention of fixing it right away.  I was simply going to paint over it.  It'll look ugly he said.  People will notice he said.  I was thinking how often do you check out other peoples wall texture when you are taking care of business?  Am I right?  I know that I never analyze walls in detail when I'm on the toilet. (You'll all collectively start checking out wall texture now when visiting a friends potty room I bet.)

So after I had filled all of the nail holes I primed the walls, and then I busted out paint that I have literally moved around with me twice.  It was left over paint from our living room in Texas.  Benjamin Moore Wythe Blue.  I was beginning to think that maybe it wasn't the right color.  Maybe it wasn't as awesome as I remember it.  I'm proud to report that its just as awesome as I remember.  The teen and the tween both want this color gracing the walls in their rooms, but they change their minds about twice a day (if I'm lucky), about EVERYTHING, so we'll see if that really happens.

So in short I chose to deal with awesome paint over weirdly textured walls instead of enduring the monkeys for a while until I was able to give this bathroom the full force makeover that I envision.  But until then...

I started by cutting in all the edges, and getting all the tight areas painted by hand.  Mostly because that is the longest most tedious part of any paint job, and the part that I'm most likely to decide to put off until "later"...a.k.a. it would look awkward for months while I talked myself into doing it.   I'm not proud of being a procrastinator, but I can be honest about it.  If it doesn't happen first its not going to happen for a while.



Cutting in paint to the trim just using a brush is a perishable skill my friends.  If you don't use it you lose it.  As is apparent here.  The trim is actually all a cream color, and I'm wanting it a nice bright white so it will get fixed for sure.

Even this bucket is going to get a bit of a new look.

In my quest to snap a picture of the worst area of texture I neglected to take notice of the decapitated baby doll head.  Unfortunately this sort of thing is kind of the norm around here because my kids can be kind of creepy sometimes.

Painting behind this toilet was pretty much one of the worst things EVER.  Birthing a 10 pound baby at HOME was easier.  Ok, not really, but it was pretty stinky (get it?) trying to reach back there with my short arms.

These are old out dated switches that are actually starting to go out.  It sounds silly, but one of the biggest impacts you can do in a small space is pay attention to the switches.  They worked great when we moved in, but my kids, being the rough little heathens that they are, have a magical way of breaking things down.  Also as you can see there are a few touch ups that are left to be done.  It always amazes me how many white areas show up after everything dries.

In short I'd rather do a minor upgrade while I wait to do a major upgrade any day over living with a dated space that doesn't fit with our style.  While painting around a toilet is kind of a crappy task (pun totally intended).  Wonked out texture or not, it is completely worth the effort if it meant getting rid of the monkey scourge that was plaguing our guest bathroom.   

linked up at: the-chicken-chick.com, www.funkjunkinteriors.net, www.simplelifeofafirewife.com, savvysouthernstyle.net, jannolson.blogspot.com, www.shakentogetherlife.com, www.thededicatedhouse.com

Every Man Should Have a Place to Put His...Deodorant

When I was a little girl there were two things every dude needed to be eligible for a man card. One was to serve in the military.  The other was knowing how to fix things.  All the men I knew had done those things so I thought it was just something guys did.  So when Señor Hotness needed a bathroom shelf solution, clearly he, being a guy, knew how fix the problem himself.

So even though our new house is beyond fantastically awesome.  Our master bathroom is somewhat humble as far as master bathrooms go these days.  I'm just happy to be able to take baths in peace without little ones randomly wandering in disrupting that peace and tranquility.  That being said we do have double sinks (bonus), and ONE medicine cabinet...on MY side.

See isn't it pretty.  Better yet it holds all those things that make women mysterious.  Like, tweezers, nails clippers, and...deodorant (this should be read in a breathy voice thus upping the MYSTERY).

According to Señor Hotness he too needed a place to shelve his goods, but because he's a man not interested in mystery, he wanted to do a small open shelf.  So after sketching, then coming up with a design he liked, it became a bit of brain bug for him that he couldn't get out of his head.  You know the kind that keeps you awake at night, that you think about day and night (this is not factual), and talk to your wife about none stop (totally true)...

So we wanted to procure some galvanized pipe fittings for this little project.  However, that is where we ran into our first snag.  Someday I'm going to do a project with no snags.  It will be glorious, to be sure...but I digress.  They didn't have everything we needed in plain galvanized.  They did, however, have a plethora of options in blackened pipe (which basically looked like a super greased galvanized pipe), and the best part was that they were actually cheaper.

Here is Señor Hotness degreasing the blackened pipes. Please excuse the mess.  I'd like to give a good excuse for this, but truthfully its just a by product of extreme laziness.

All clean...

After removing the old towel ring he then pre-drilled for the wall anchors.  Don't worry peeps he didn't hang extraordinarily heavy pipe simply using wall anchors.  Two out of every four holes lined up with a stud, because my stud knows how to find the studs.  Sorry for the bad pun, I couldn't resist. Actually I could, but I didn't want to.

He secured the middle piece first.

Then he double checked it to make sure it was all plumb.  For those not in the know, plumb is achieved when the bubble is in-between the lines on the middle gauge of the level.  The more centered the better, but anywhere in between those lines is totally fine.

At this point he joked that his vision had been achieved.  Clearly I'm not the only one with a sarcastic sense of humor in this relationship...our poor children.

The board he was using was a 1x6 piece of oak.  Just FYI, oak is known for being a hardwood.  So to save himself time, and effort we (and by we I mean he) held the boards up there while I pencil marked the holes so he could pre-drill them.  My one useful contribution to this project.  I'm of course not counting all the many times I offered him up my witty replies, and useful insight.  I'm just kidding I was pretty much just a smart aleck in the background with a camera on this one.

Also as you can see from the kid head in the corner of this picture.  It was hard for me to truly help because all of our littles were on deck and ready to lend a helping hand.  The teen and the tween couldn't be bothered to help out on this one.  The finished product did get their stamp of approval though.

After he finished pre-drilling he assembled the other pieces for easier installation.

The hardest thing about the assembly was working around the pipe to get all the screws properly secured.

Here it is partially done.  Then through the magic of the blogosphere...

Bam! Its done.  Well, mostly at this point we had not yet stained the wood.

Here are just a few up-close shots of the fittings.

I love that you can see the "1/2" that is on the pipe, and that he added a towel rod.  I'm in love with a very industrial country feel to things, and I love when the metal is married into design.  I especially love it if it seems aged, and that is the exact feel that we get once we cleaned to goop (technical term) off of those blackened pipes.  

I couldn't resist staging things just to get a glimpse of how awesome it could be, but...

Then it was time to bring this project home.  So we, and by we, I mean Señor Hotness, took this out to the man room off the garage to stain it.  The stain he used was American Heritage made by Minwax.

After letting it dry overnight he gave it a coat of polycrylic.  I don't think it really needed the protectant coat badly, but with it possibly getting toothpaste or shaving cream residue on it I wanted the surface to be washable.

Staining the wood really steps the whole thing up a notch.  I love how the stained wood really adds a whole other depth of color to the entire piece.  The pipes seem to be a richer color when in truth all that happened was the boards got a darker shade.

This was Señor Hotness's first attempt at staging for a photo.  It was a nice effort kid, but...

I think mine looks better.  The ibuprofen looks so incredibly awesome in the glass jar that I may decide to do that with my vitamins too.

But always in the end I like to keep it real so this is what it usually looks like.  It adds a super rustic vibe to our bathroom, and it turned out so incredibly cool its not even funny.  

linked up at: jannolson.blogspot.com, thededicatedhouse.com, savvysouthernstyle.net, www.funkyjunkinteriors.net, www.shakentogetherlife.com, the-chicken-chick.com