Lock, Stock and One Modified Messenger Bag!

(Disclaimer:  The following post is about DIY gun concealment.  This was made for a licensed holder.  Though I do have several small children in my home please rest assured that all weaponry is carefully locked, or stored in our safe that only myself, and Señor Hotness have the code for.)

There are some stereotypes that people have of Texans.  Most that I've come across are kind of bogus.  I didn't have a horse growing up.  I didn't have an oil pump in my back yard (still don't), and no matter how much I've teased, hair sprayed or conjoled I have never, ever been able to get big hair.   However, one thing that Texans do love is...shooting. (generally)

Señor Hotness posing with his target from our conceal and carry class.  He's kind of a fantastic shot, and me being a "Backwoods Baby" I totally think thats hot.

Señor Hotness and I love going target shooting.  We do it frequently during our dates.  It is super stress relieving to shoot at things, and it is even more satisfying when you see that you are improving.  Several months back Señor Hotness and I took our conceal and carry class along with our very good friends, Magnificent Monti and his wife Awesome Kristie (who you may remember from this post).

So after we all got our license in, the hunt was on for the perfect concealing options.  I don't know how other guys are, but Señor Hotness is really picky about any number of items.  We have a whole bevy of assorted cellphone cases at our that just weren't a good fit, and our holster stash is getting plentiful as well.  For those unaware conceal equipment is super pricey (usually).  So Señor Hotness and Magnificent Monti were brainstorming how to modify a regular bag to house a conceal holster.  I love it when the boys get involved in the shoestring projects as well.

So this project was going to be their trial run.  For Mother's Day Señor Hotness and the Ladies bought me a dremel set.  I have to confess that I don't know really know how to use a dremel tool so I haven't used it yet.

So they started with a leather messenger bag, a paddle holster from Springfield Armory (here), and a rivet gun that they snagged from Lowe's for less than $20.

So I apologize for the pictures, or lack there of, but I was in the house for a while before I realized they had even started working on this.  That and Señor Hotness is more about working efficiently than he is about pausing randomly so I can get a better picture.

This particular holster is already made for concealing at your waist.  The holster isn't complicated.  The part that houses the gun has a full trigger guard so that when the gun is holstered the trigger can't accidentally catch on something causing a catastrophic accident.

See?  Awful picture!

Here you can see that they basically trimmed the back off of the holster until they basically just had the bare bones of the holster, aka the part that housed the barrel and trigger guard.  When Señor Hotness used the dremel to cut into this.  It didn't cut the high grade plastic of the holster so much as melt it.  So then he switched out the head to the sanding attachment, and sanded down the roughed area then using the dremel further smoothed and buffed it out.  When it was done it looked like it had been manufactured that way.

Then using a drill he made holes in the trimmed down holster.  This also left the plastic messy so he again used the dremel to smooth it out.  Setting that aside they took the discarded holster piece, and used the dremel to cut out a strip of plastic.  After buffing that piece down as well he drilled corresponding holes in this piece too.

Then using the rivet tool, and they affixed the holster to an interior pocket of the messenger bag.  Unfortunately this is the point where the pictures stopped, but when all was said and done they had out fitted a regular messenger bag to accommodate for conceal and carry.  So apparently I'm not the only creative one at our house.

Everybody Loves a Little Pooch

In this case I'm not lovingly talking about my gargantuan 5 kids mom gut, that I like to pretend could even politely still be classified under the term "muffin top".  I'm talking about an actual pooch, a dog, or more accurately a puppy...named Biscuit.

This is what Biscuit looked like.  He was hit by a car, and killed recently.  We are all still so sad.  He was a very good puppy...furniture chewing aside.

  More to the point how this adorably cute K-9 was able to ruin (almost) a perfectly good bench.  That I had grand plans for, or better yet I was itching to repurpose into something new and pretty.

Its okay.  You can say holy distressed batman!

Usually I have some quirky story of how I acquired my current piece of junk turned into a bit of awesometastically awesomeness (actual words I'm sure).  This bench, however, we junked up all on our own.  I would LIKE to say this doesn't make us trashy, but I'm pretty sure that is exactly what that implies.  After a few months as our front porch bench, of which it was the perfect size, it didn't fair well.  The dog and chickens  might have had something to do with that.

I found this bench six years ago at a furniture store in Dallas called The Dump.  It sounds awful, but its actually a store full of brand new furniture that is usually "discounted".  In this instance "discount" means it was all still very expensive.  This was before I started finding my own junk, and refinishing it to fit my personal style.  So we bought this brand new (which just makes me shudder to think about now).  I had wanted a bench for our dining table that had a back on it.  That way I could squeeze 3 kids on without worry of one of them spazing out and falling off the back.  I don't really have a great before picture of it.

This is what it looked like post junked out.  I'll let you guess which damage came from the dog, and which came from the chickens.

Man I wish this was the only spot, but it is the worst.

Oh, the puppy teeth.

So clearly the puppy chewing went on for a while before I noticed it.

I was a little perturbed to discover that the adorable pooch had gnawed off part of the seat.  I lamented a few days.  Thinking it was absolutely ruined.  Then I realized that it was an opportunity to give this new life, and I was on a quest to find a way to work around the chewed area.  So then I looked around Pinterest for other bench pictures that might serve as inspiration.  I found lots of hand made benches, benches made out of bed frames, or benches made out of repurposed coffee tables.  None were really what I was looking for.  So I switched my search to google.  That came up with a few other options, but honestly none of those were what I was looking for either.  Unless I was looking for a way to make this into an ice cream sundae bench.  Which I was not.

So I turned my attention to the seat of the bench. You know the part that was sporting the worst of the damage of my teething puppy.  At first I thought I'll just take some durham rock hard putty, and try to rebuild the missing area.  Then I thought I'll just paint it, and hope no body notices (a tactic I use often).  In the end I thought I would just sand it all down, and stain all of it.  However, just a regular stain job would never do.  If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that I have a bit of a thing with chevrons (See here, here, and here), and you'll also know how tired Señor Hotness was getting of that little quirk.  I, however, am still very much in love with the chevron fad.  So instead of doing a paint/stain pattern.  I decided to mix it up, and put the chevron pattern on the seat with just contrasting stains.   First things first though I had the get it sanded down.

This top was already in bad shape due to its brief stint on the front porch.  So sanding the top wasn't that bad.  I used 120 grit sand paper in my orbital sander to remove the old finish, and then hit it with a 150 grit to smooth out the sand paper marks.  Finially I finished up with 220 grit leaving it nice and smooth, and free of any scratches to the wood.

It looked so nice that the two year old couldn't resist climbing on it, and giving it a test drive.

Sorry for the sideways picture, but here it is all taped out and ready for stain.

I used Rustoleum Driftwood to give me the awesome chevron pattern.  It looks super cool from a distance, but...

Up close was a completely different story.

Ok so it had been my initial plan to allow all the gray stain to dry overnight.  That was before I removed the tape, and saw how badly it had bled.  So then I had a change of plans.  I decided to immediately stain over the top with my super dark stain.  My hopes were to reduce the appearance of the bleeding.  So I used Minwax Dark Walnut (what else), and instead of allowing it to set in I immediately wiped off the excess.   This method highlighted the blemishes, but unexpectedly it looked really cool. (I want to kick myself for not snapping a picture.)  It looked like a deconstructed chevron.  That wasn't what I wanted though.  So I put another layer of dark walnut on, and this time I took a stroll and let it really soak in for several minutes.  It looked really great.

I really love how it turned out, and the over all depth of it.  It is my very favorite part of this piece.

Then it was time to address the rest of the bench.  I was wanting to do this entire project for free, a.k.a., what I had on hand.  So I decided to use Krylon Cherry Red paint/primer mix spray paint that I used when I repainted my scentsy warmer.

I used this because I had plenty on hand.

And the dog food makes an appearance!  Because I'm super classy.

It looks so awesome, but...coincidentally it didn't match the room where I was wanting it to go.

This is where I expect many will hate me forever.  So I have been wanting to do an extreme distressed paint project, and I thought that the over all bones of this would support that look nicely.  I wanted to use this bench as an entryway bench in my formal living room( that had the ghetto flooring you see in the pictures because we haven't gotten to it yet), and a very funky eclectic vibe to it.  So then I went back to my paint supply to find something to dull the red.

I came back with my krylon classic gray that I had used to make my DIY chalk paint.  I was going to dry brush the entire area.  So I got out one of my crazy cheapo brushes.  They cost around a dollar, and are the best thing for this type of painting.  I usually grab a few every time I go grocery shopping.  So I always have some on hand.  So then I  got to dry brushing.  The bonus is chalk paint was made for distressing.  So as I applied I would use my rag to just randomly thin out certain areas to add to the overall distressed and aged look.

So here it is midway through the process.

I love the depth that this gives it, but have to laugh that I chose to distress an already distressed "junk" piece.

I let that dry for about an hour.  Honestly though one of the benefits of chalk paint is that it dries quickly, and then of course the added bonus of it being dry brushed.  At the end of an hour I came back with a dark brown glaze.  I think I have it tinted a color called barista, but honestly I'm not sure. I have used this same can of glaze for the last 4 years, and I've only used about a third of the over all quart.  A little goes a very long way.  I opted to dry brush this as well.  The piece had kind of a cold feel to it with the colors I used so I wanted to warm it back up with the brown.  Also that tends to give it a nice aged look that I personally love.

Then I waited an hour for it to dry before giving everything a coat of Minwax's Polycrylic in gloss.

The polycrylic always really highlights the depth of color.

Up close to the finished distressing.

Now you can hardly tell where the pooch nibbled.

Last but not least my very favorite feature of this project was the awesome 'new' bench seat.

So in the end I had a completely funky, super distressed bench paid for purely through time and effort.  I'm so glad that I started doing this as a hobby a few years ago.  Now I have a home full of inexpensive, but quality pieces that I have made over to really fit the style of my home.

I linked up at http://www.jenniferrizzo.com missmustardseed.com http://jannolson.blogspot.com http://www.funkyjunkinteriors.net betweennapsontheporch.net www.wecallitjunkin.com http://www.savvysouthernstyle.net www.thededicatedhouse.com, internationalbloggersassociation.com 

Remember when...

Remember when you had a laundry DAY?  When you took one evening during the week to get all the laundry done, and then you were good for another week.

Now you have to do two LARGE loads a day just to keep your head above water, and heaven forbid that anybody gets sick on the bedding when its not bedding wash day.  That's right, it gets its own day, and if you become lazy even once it starts looking like this almost immediately.

Remember when you and your honey decided to take an impromptu trip somewhere?  Remember how you were able to fit all you both needed for the weekend into a duffel bag?  Then you were ready for whatever adventure lay ahead.

Now you are lucky if you can squeeze all you need into TWO large suitcases, and that's only if you will have access to laundry facilities.  Then you will also have to bring along extra diapers and wet wipes because if its one thing you don't want to be caught being short on, its diapers.  If your little darling suddenly gets a serious case of the diarrhea (which on a road trip is completely awful) you DO NOT want to be caught lacking the supplies necessary to contain the situation...trust me on this one.

Remember when you could cruise in a small compact car that used almost no gas?

Now the only vehicle that can transport your super sized family, and all of the accompanying equipment is a suburban that you are lucky if it gets 17 miles per gallon in gas.

Remember when all of your groceries fit very comfortably in the bottom of the shopping cart?

Now every shopping trip looks like you are hoarding food for the zombie apocalypse because you have not one over flowing cart, but two.

Remember when you and your darling could eat out for less than $25 at a fairly nice restaurant?

Now you can't get away with spending less than $30 at the cheapest fast food joint around.

Remember when you had a personal clothing budget so that you always looked like a snappy dresser in public?

Now you are a pro at finding awesome deals at garage sales, clearance racks, and know exactly which thrift store has the best gently used clothes and lowest prices.

Remember when you got to eat food off your own plate?  Without sharing unless you were feeling charitable.

Now the food you prepared for dinner isn't eatable from anywhere but off of your plate.

Remember when you cheered because your child learned to open doors, and you were so proud because it was further evidence that they were progressing in their development?

Now you want to cry in a fetal position because your youngest has mastered the fine art of door opening, when her older sister hasn't beat the compulsion to get into and destroy everything she encounters.  Now they are two against one.  Those aren't odds you are happy about.

Remember when you needed a specific recipe if wanted to cook anything other than spaghetti, oatmeal or scrambled eggs?

Now you have gotten so inventive in your meal making that you have made crazy yummy tacos,  sloppy joes, and spaghetti with meat sauce...all from left over meatloaf.  Just so you don't waste food when there are starving children in the world. (My kids still don't know.   So don't rat me out.)

Speaking of leftovers...remember when you had some?  Remember when you struggled to eat them all before they evolved to the point that they sprouted eyes and walked out of the refrigerator on their own?

Now you are lucky if there ARE any leftovers.

Remember when you got your child fully dressed daily with their hair completely fixed.

Now pants on the younger children is completely optional, and hair doesn't get fixed unless you leave the house.

Remember when you went to the bathroom by yourself...IN your own home...IN your own bathroom?

Now you are lucky to sneak off for a quick pee without World War III breaking out in the hallway as all of your children vie for your complete (and captive) attention.

Remember when you got tired, and went to bed for your requisite 8 hours?

Now you are lucky to rack up 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but more often than not its really more like 4 hours.

Remember when you only needed to run the dishwasher a few times a week because thats how long it took you to fill it up.

Now you run it a few times a day, and still wash some dishes by hand.

Now life IS more complicated, but it is also infinitely more rewarding.  I'm ok with not getting as much sleep, getting to eat off my own plate, go to the bathroom in peace (by myself), or getting to travel with a manageable amount of luggage if it means that I get to be mother to the best bunch of ladies ever.

DISCLAIMER:  I will say that my family of seven, parents included, barely quantifies "super" sized. Having five children hardly makes a blip on the super sized family spectrum.  Also, the views and experiences expressed in this post may or may not have happened or are currently happening at our house.  I'll let you be the judge.  

Are you Granola?

Do you wear your healthy-ish eating on your Facebook page for all to see?   While you are scarfing down ho ho's faster than any competitive eater in the dark pantry so you don't get busted.  For once I can say I haven't ever done that.  Mostly because I'm not entirely sure what a ho ho really is.  Nor do I even remotely claim to be into healthy eating.  So maybe I have scarfed down a ho ho in the dark, and just never knew.  (Note to self find and identify exact what a ho ho is.)  All that being said I have been on a huge kick of eating vanilla greek yogurt.  If you haven't tried greek yogurt yet you are seriously missing out.  What could make eating yummy yogurt even better you ask?  If you are me its some yummy granola to sprinkle on the top.  That and I love eating granola WAY better than eating any store bought cereal.  A few weeks back I asked all my peeps on Facebook for good granola recipes, and I hit the jackpot.  I also forgot to save any of those, and now can't find any of them.  Total bummer.  So tonight I was on a mission to make granola.  So I needed a recipe.  Where does one go for a recipe for just about anything on the face of the planet?  Pinterest right?   Well tonight pinterest didn't come through for me.  I know I was shocked too, but it was bound to happen eventually.  Mostly because all the recipes on there called for things I didn't have on hand, and me in my infinite laziness didn't want to drive 11 miles one way just to go to the store for a few ingredients.  So I had to make up my own recipe, and hope it didn't tank.  Here's how it went.

Backwoods Babies Crap I Had On Hand In My Pantry Granola (I might need to find a shorter name)
4 cups oatmeal (I only had quick oats)
1 cup pecans
1/2 cup coconut oil (melted)
1/2 cup + 1 tbsp honey ( I used local honey)
1/4 cup of flax seed
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (because Destructo Girl likes to eat straight cinnamon)
1/2 tsp salt

Pre-heat oven to 350.  Mix all dry ingredients in a large bowl, including the pecans.  Then melt the coconut oil in a liquid measuring cup.  This should only take about 30 seconds.  Pour the melted coconut oil into the dry ingredients, and give it all a quick stir to fully distribute the oil.  Then using your oily measuring cup measure out your honey, and heat for 30 seconds.  The oil residue left in the cup will ensure that all the honey comes out easily, and slightly heating it makes it more fluid moving so it is easier to fully stir the honey onto all the oats. Then add the vanilla, and stir the heck out of it.  When it has been well mixed, pour it out onto a large cookie sheet.  Put in the oven, and toast for 20-22, stirring halfway through.  Keep an eye on it as it can burn super easily.  It will come out looking like this.

Looks yummy right?

Here it is up close.

This is a mildly sweet granola. If you want it more sweet just add more honey, or throw in some brown sugar with the dry ingredients.  I personally like it on the lower end of sweet because I can't handle very much sweetness in the morning, and that is when I eat granola the most.  So just make up your own batch of, Crap I Had On Hand in the Pantry, granola.  Then eat and enjoy.

UPDATE:  I know.  How could I possibly have an update again so soon.  Okay so this granola has been a stinking sensation at my house since I made it.  It was almost completely gone after the first morning...so I had to make some more.  I decided this time to tweak things a bit.

So this time around I had been to the store, and got a few extra supplies.  I grabbed a bag of unsweetened coconut (because my kids like it), a bag of craisins (dried cranberries), and raw slivered almonds.  Those all made an appearance in the new batch, and it was crazy good.  Normally I have all of those things on hand.  However, my toddler recently learned how to open door, and it has been a buffet life for her ever since.  She is paying the price for eating that much dried fruit though so hopefully she'll steer clear of that next time.  I also upped the honey to 2/3 cup because the munchkins were wanting it a bit sweeter.

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Frugal Decorating 101: Dumpster Diving

Trash to treasure, dumpster diving, or digging through the garbage can like a kid looking for their broken crayon that their mom rightfully trashed, can all be valid ways to get materials for decorating.  If there is anything I've learned from my children its that you never take out the garbage without thoroughly digging through every last piece to see if your sneaky mother has decided to toss your latest "treasure".  Treasure of course could be anything from a popped balloon, to a pudding cup that hasn't been extremely scrapped clean (if you are almost two and hard up for chocolate).  I kid...mostly.  This project was literally saved from the garbage can...well at least part of it.

Señor Hotness asked me if I had any extra frames, from my last thrifting trip a few months back,  that I could use to make up a nice sign for a family at church.  That was a big YES.  He wanted me to make a sign that had the The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and of course I couldn't just print off a standard sign.  It had to be pretty.  Like something I would want in my own home.

As a youth, at church, I remember making up pretty framed signs.  One in particular was a beautiful poem overlaid a picture of the Savior.  They used a shear card stock, but I didn't have anything like that.  What I did have was tissue paper and huge book of awesome craft paper.

Lets all please ignore the fact that I worked a portion of this project on my unmade bed.  It happens.  I'm not proud of it.

I took a piece of printer paper, a pack of white tissue paper, and my awesome book of craft paper.  I had the theory that you could print onto tissue paper so long as it was carefully taped to a regular paper.  Then I could move it over to the pretty paper.  Easy peasy right?   Wrong.  I pulled out the tissue paper, cut it to size, and carefully taped it to the printer paper.

I used masking tape instead of scotch tape simply because I knew where the masking tape was.

In the printer ready to give it a go.

This go around almost worked, but half way down the sheet the tissue paper wrinkled and messed up the words.  So then I felt like if it wasn't even remotely wrinkled it would work.  That and it felt like the heat of the printer slightly shrank the paper contributing to the wrinkling problem.  So then things got serious.  I pulled out something that so rarely gets used around here that I had to dust it prior to using it...

That's right, ladies and gents, the ironing board.  This is one item that Señor Hotness wished saw way more use.

If only this picture showed how truly dusty this sucker was you all would be properly horrified, and feeling super sympathetic for Señor Hotness.

So then I decided that if I ironed both the printer paper, and the tissue paper it would do its weird shrinking business prior to getting into the printer and be fine.  Here is where I ran into a problem.  I actually needed the rest of the tissue paper for another project so I didn't want to use it all up trying to get this right.  So I was racking my brain when I looked in my bedside waste paper basket, and what was in there?!?!  Besides trash you ask?  Tissue paper from Señor Hotness's most recent batch of dry cleaning.  I don't know if all dry cleaners do this, but all of his suits come back with the sleeves stuffed full of tissue paper.  So I had a waste paper basket full of exactly what I needed.  Total score right?  So after some minor digging in the trash my project was back on track.

Ready for the iron.

After ironing all of it, trimming it, and then carefully taping it, it was time try the printer again.  This time was SO close.  It wrinkled at the very bottom this time around.  Then I had a light bulb moment.

See that black lid WAY back there in the back.

Bam!  I had spray adhesive.  I have had this spray adhesive for almost two stinking years, and I have used it exactly zero times.

To use this I would need to put it straight on the pretty finish paper.  So this was a sink or swim round.  So I ironed them both again.  Then I carefully sprayed my craft paper, on the patterned side, with spray adhesive.  I may have had a moment of stupidity madness and sprayed this indoors...DO NOT SPRAY THIS INDOORS.  It smells horrible, but it did dissipate fairly quickly.  Then I came back with my sticky hands, and smoothed the tissue paper over the, now sticky, craft paper.  I really rubbed it in, and smoothed it out to make sure that it was completely adhered to the paper below so that it couldn't possibly wrinkle during the printing process.

I folded the corners like I was wrapping a present when I taped in on.

Here it is all ready to go.

Here goes nothing...

SUCCESS!!! 

Now it was time to turn my attention to the frame.  I paid $.50 for the frame from Good Will, and there wasn't anything special about it except it was wood and not plastic, and came with it's very own sheet of glass.

This looked okay, but certainly not great.

I opted to paint it with acrylic glue.

In Ivory White Gloss.

One coat down, but definitely not where I want it.

I only did two coats total.  This didn't cover all the underlying wood, but made for a slightly streaky topcoat.  I left it because after I add the glaze it will be added depth to the overall finished look.

This was after I added the glazing to the top, left and bottom of the frame, and it was looking exactly how I wanted it to.

Doesn't it look awesome?

I always have the hardest time with the corners, but I think it turned out nicely.

Here is one up close.

In the end I was a little sad that this was meant to be a gift for someone else.  Then I realized that that made me sound like an incredibly uncharitable person, and then I remembered that I made this entire thing out of stuff that I literally had lying around or, you know, trash.  So now that I have field tested this I can make another one even more personalized to match the decor in my home.

So there you have it folks.  How I used something out of the trash to help me make something that ended up looking crazy spectacular.  Now go forth and be a trash digger.  You may just find that special something that adds the perfect touch to your next up coming project, or a nasty old sandwich.  Its a gamble, but aren't most things in life worth a little risk?  Also you really can't beat a $.50 price tag for something that ends up looking like this.

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