Oops I Did It Again!

Okay so I started another project immediately on the heels of my last finished one.  I have a good reason though...The kids made me do it.

Most of our home's furniture are from Craigslist, and most of them are in need of repair/refinishing.  Which is awesome if your productivity level is especially high...which mine is not.  However the day after I had finished my last project, the redo that will here after be known as the project from Hades, I sat in my recliner congratulating myself on a job finally stinking finished well done.  When I spied a major problem.  Our coffee table that I bought a year and a half ago for $40 on craigslist was being damaged.  It had survived the craigslist guy's trashy warehouse where he kept his junk treasures, which could have easily been a feature on hoarders.  It survived in our storage unit because I bought it WAY before it was ready to be brought into the new house, and the other house, where we were still living like rockstars, was freakishly small.  Then I brought it to the new house, and it was beyond too big for the room I had purchased it for.  So I had it on its side in the corner of the room waiting to be re-listed on craigslist.  Sometimes being lazy pays off because on a whim I moved it into the family room, and it was a match made in heaven.

Please ignore the children (of which none are actually naked, honest) and mess.  Its not worth cleaning it this early in the day because it will just get dirty again later.

I hadn't intended to bring anything into that room because that was where the kids could have space to function and play.  Which brings us back around to how the kids were ruining our coffee table before I was able to bring out its inner beauty.  I happen to be in possession of an awesomely destructive three year old that puts her older siblings' hijinks to shame.

See?  She's deceptively cute.

This lovely three year old will, for our purposes today, be called Destructo Girl.  It is a name well and truly earned, believe me.  She also has a love for water.  She likes to drink it, swim in it, bath in it, stick her booger picking fingers in it if its in my cup, and pour it in random places, and one of those places apparently was the coffee table.  The issue wasn't the water so much as the fact that nobody saw the water, and it had soaked itself into the coffee table that didn't really retain any of its former sealer coat.  It did things to the wood.

You probably can't see, but it had swelled this piece out.  It looked ready to start splintering off with the littlest pressure, or if anyone picked at it...

Again, meet Destructo Girl.

She had also done a few other things to the table.  Like...

this. 

She also seems to possess an affinity for gouging wooden things.  Heaven help me I was probably destructive enough as a child, that I brought this upon myself.  

Sometimes in the course a DIY project, dark things are made known that will forever change the way you approach a redo.  So very, very early on in my sanding endeavor I spotted it.  The wrench in my otherwise smooth refinishing progress...

Do you see it?

How about now?

How about NOW?

That's right, veneer.  This should be said with an intense sneer, showing our superiority over such an awful product.  Giggling about the fact that veneer and sneer rhyme is completely optional but encouraged.  

So that's a pretty big game changer that sent me back to the drawing board.  Some heavy questions needed to be answered at this point.  Do I lug it out to the burn pile where I will set a therapeutic blaze to it, bidding it adieu, or do I just proceed and hope that paint makes it look cool and the finish holds up after being heavily clear coated?

I should let you all know that I am not only a procrastinator, lazy, but also a bit a cheapskate.  So the option was a clear one.  While I enjoy a good fire as much as the next gal, I would use the supplies I had on hand to try to salvage this table and get my full $40 out of it.  That and it would kill me forever if we had had that hideous piece junking up our house that never felt what its full potential could be...which is awesome.

So the center square of the table was the only part that was truly veneered so I decided that that would be the only place on the top to get a paint treatment.  The outside perimeter would get the same weathered wood stain treatment that the last project received since they will both be squatting it out in the same room.

After finishing up sanding the perimeter I brought out the stain.  I again started with Rustoelum's Driftwood.

Which looks like this when applied

And this when the excess is wiped off

Its positively gray-tastic 

I then followed this up with Minwax's Dark Walnut.  Which is my very favorite wood stain color EVER.  I know they say you shouldn't pick a favorite, but I have and I have especially been loving it paired with the gray of the Driftwood.  

This is what it looks like going on.

And this is the finish you end up with.

Now I will admit this was looking pretty awful.  After thinking it over I decide a black center would help tie it in color wise with other furniture pieces in the room.

All taped up, and ready to get a new coat.

This is what I used.

For such a small area the paper bags work great, and I can toss them when I'm done.

First coat done.  It looks streaky because its still partially wet in the picture. 

I think the black in the center sets off the stained wood around the perimeter off to perfection.

Then it was time to turn my attention to the bottom of the table.  So I pulled out my dark gray chalk paint that I had left over from the last project.  It is Classic Gray made by Krylon, and I love it!

The first coat is the streakiest.

Here it is three coats later.  Looking awesome.

This was not even the same looking table anymore.  That is my favorite part of any refinish, when you have a completely different looking piece of furniture after a different color stain, and a a little paint thrown in.

The other tables had sported an awesome chevron pattern, and I wanted to tie this one in with it the same.  However, because of the sheer size and shape of the table I opted to tweak it some.

So I measured out a grid on the top, and started taping off the pattern...with a little help.

I'm not going to lie I thought this was super cool looking.

Here's the bad.  When repositioning tape I removed some of the finish.  I'm thinking I didn't allow enough dry time before I started laying down the tape, but honestly I'm new at this. I'm refinishing all these with what I've learned from Pinterest and Bloglandia.  Its very much trial and error.

What it looked like after the tape came off.

This coffee table came with a a drawer.  Its flimsy and useless, but there none the less.  The drawer pulls that came with it were wooden, and I opted to spray them an oil rubbed bronze.  Mostly because  I wanted metal ones, but was to cheap to shell out for new ones.  So I sprayed these in hopes that they would look metal.

I think they look really great, and I'm totally glad that went the cheap route with this one.

So then it was time to start antiquing it.  I pulled out my dark brown glaze, and my trusty trashy brush (my favorite to use for glazing).  I then proceeded to dry brush it on.  Which is done by barely dipping your brush tips in the glaze, and then wiping off most of the excess on a paper towel.  You then dry brush whats left on your table.

This was how it started out, but I wanted it to be darker so I just made sure to wipe off less.

This was to light so...

I darkened it up.  You just have to make sure you blend it well.  My toe was to cute not to include.

I then decided that I needed to add some brown to the top so that the gray matched.

I loved it!!  The slight brown really made it look awesome with the stained wood edge.

Then I was done for a while, or so I thought, but...

this little lady had a little something to say about.

Apparently the partially dried glazed top was WAY to much of a temptation for Destructo Girl.  I left for five minutes only to return, and find that there were perfect three year old finger drag marks in the top.  I don't have any pictures of this because I felt like I was playing a game of beat the clock.  I tried to just dry brush over the top, but that just made it a weird dark spot.  So then I discovered I could wash it off of that area.  So I washed it off, and redid those areas.  I then threatened her on pain of death if she even looked in the room where these were kept.  I am proud to report that we have no more finger prints.

Annnnnd, I'm done...for now...for a while.  I'm serious...maybe...we'll see.

Linked up at: Kammy's Korner, internationalbloggersassociation.com

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful

And these tables, like I suspect many of our Hollywood beauties, have had a little (or a lot) of work done.  This redo could easily be classified as a comedy of errors.  Holy smokes anything that I could have screwed up on...I did.  I am an overachiever that way.

These awesometastic tables were a craigslist freebie, and while the hubs, Señor Hotness, wasn't a huge fan of them for our family room he couldn't argue with free, especially when its solid wood.  The lady said I could just have them if I came to pick them up once she found out I had five kiddos (which is proudly announced in my email signature) because her move was imminent, she needed her stuff gone, and she too was a mom of five.  Wahoo, having a bunch of kids saves the day again!  These tables weren't the only score that day.  When I got there she had a room full of stuff that was free for the taking.  So I scored these two end tables, with matching coffee table, decorative glass canisters, assorted sized wicker baskets, and two chairs with the prettiest lines covered in the most awful golden vinyl the 1970's had to offer.  Its the stuff dreams are made of my friends.  You hear of people scoring crazy awesome freebies, and turning them into the coolest stuff.  This was my shot!

Señor Hotness, didn't want them not because they weren't awesome, but because about two years ago I had acquired a few antiques that got a face lift that were currently stashed in our "formal" living area.

You can see where his concerns were coming from.  The new tables were a slightly smaller version of these.

So anyone who knows me in real life knows that I have what some could classify as an intense case of supreme laziness with an acute case of procrastination.  So because I have an unhealthy love of Pinterest I had decided that to save myself the time and labor of having to lightly sand, prime, re-sand, paint, antique and seal, that I would try chalk paint.  I have seen so many things about DIY chalk paint all over bloglandia, and I thought score, I can do this and that eliminates a few steps in my process.  Its a win/win right?

So I looked up a recipe for chalk paint made with plaster of paris.  I have been on a blue/gray streak here lately, and opted to paint them the gray we had used in a few rooms in our house.  Waste not want not right?  No...just no.  The color that looked so fabulous on our walls looked all sickly and almost white on my tables.  Not what I was going for, and it was at that time I was stumped.  I had hit a creativity wall.  A block if you will...that lasted five months.

So when I came back to them I decided to come at them from a different angle.  I decided to stop putting off the inevitable and get the tops sanded down, and ready for stain.  

I love when the old gross color comes off, and if you look carefully you will see my new sander.  This was its inaugural run.  If you look even closer at the picture you can most certainly see that kids live at my house, and are just as messy piglets outside as they can be inside.

The sanding process wasn't without it challenges.

The "challenges" were all crazy cute though.

Once the top was completely sanded I decided to try something new.  You might start seeing a pattern here.  Anytime I "try something new" its a one step forward two steps back process.  I had decide that instead of the intense brown you get from using Minwax's Dark Walnut stain I wanted a grayer more washed out brown.  Something with a more weathered look.  So I started with a light gray stain called Driftwood that is put out by Rustoleum.

It doesn't show up very well in the pictures, and it is incredibly subtle on the wood.  I have used this technique on some wooden crates I've been working with here lately.  However instead of following up the light gray with the dark walnut like I did with my crates I decided to use a different dark wood stain that we had on hand.  To save the Dark Walnut for the crates that I still had to do.  Just a heads up peeps.  Just use the colors you want from the get go, and don't try to save yourself from having to shell out an additional $5 for another container of stain.  So big mistake number two commenced when I used Minwax's Provincial stain.

It doesn't show in the picture as much, but the final color this round was a sickly color.  If I was trying to make my awesome tables look like they had been constructed out of sickly diseased wood, mission accomplished.  I was ready to pull out my hair.  I would not let this redo beat me though.  So instead of taking another five month sabbatical to regroup.  I decided to just soldier on.  

Okay so these tables have a very french provincial look about them, but I wanted them to have a little funk to them too.  So anyone with an active Pinterest account would know how incredibly hot chevrons are right now.  So that was the next step I took.  I thought if I used an off white paint on top then stained over it with the Dark Walnut it would make it look similar to the inlaid wood pattern from my other tables, but just a whole lot less subtle.

I loved the way it looked, but then it was time to address the edges.  I will say I painstakingly sanded down all the curved edges on the tables I did two years ago, and that was such a stinking pain that I opted to try a painted edge on this one.  I was going to repaint the bottom a darker gray so I thought a black around the edge would be perfect.

It was at this time that I should have been honest with myself that while the chevrons on top looked awesome, the color didn't go with the over color scheme I had gone with on the rest of the table.  Again though I'm lazy and was in denial about what the overall finished product would look like.

So I had gone back to the drawing board on the color, and came across a darker gray made by krylon. They have premixed quarts of krylon in a limited assortment of colors in walmart so I snagged one for about $5.  Then it was a round two DIY chalk paint.  This time in the darker gray.  It turned out great. 

The chalk paint dries so much faster than your standard latex so after I had finished painting one table  the other one was dry, and ready for a second coat.  After two coats it still had a very few areas where there was a slight bit of the former color peaking through.  I opted to leave this because I thought it would add more dimension to the over all finished piece, and add a little something extra when I antiqued it.  I allowed the paint to dry for several hours, and took to Facebook.  Hoping that people might help me believe that the now cream colored chevron on top matched somehow the gray and black of the rest.  Then I decided to get one antiqued to see if that might make the top look less weird.  I antiqued them using dark brown glaze.  I dry brushed it on with a super cheapo brush from walmart.  Those are the best in my opinion when dry brushing, and glazing.  

No such luck on the antiquing finish making the top match.  So I just decided to fix it rather than let it mock me from under its sealed layer.  Knowing that I would be too lazy to ever fix it later.

Ta-Da!  I loved it so much.  It finally looked exactly how I wanted it to.  I even dry brushed some dark brown glaze on the chevron to more fully match the bottom.  I went to get the drawer pulls out that I had spray painted a oil rubbed bronze to see what the overall finished product would be.  It was then that I realized that I had accidentally...painted the drawers closed.  Now before you judge to harshly, the drawers on these tables were not removable.  I have never in my life encountered that, but there you have it.  Which is why I have a picture like this...

I was panicky about this new turn of events.  Would the drawers be purely decorative forever more?  How would I get the drawer pulls attached?  Would hot glue make them stay, or would the kids pull those off trying to open the drawers I had accidentally painted shut?  Mostly I was afraid that getting them functional again would ruin my finish, and then I'd have to fix it, and I was ready to be done with this redo.  

The panicking was purely unjustified though.  Señor Hotness came home, and with a quick wack both drawers were opening and the finish was fine.  See prayers are answered.

Now I just need to put them in place, and enjoy that I was able to salvage the DIY project gone terribly, terribly wrong.

THE END (cyber brownies if you made it this far)

Linked up at: Kammy's Korner, internationalbloggersassociation.com

Confessions of a Lazy Laundress!

Hello, My name is Sarah, (Hello, Sarah) and I am a lazy laundress!  The saying "Laundry today or naked tomorrow" is a somewhat true statement in our house.

Let me make it abundantly clear that being a lazy laundress, or launderer (hi fellas), when you've got kids is just crazy.  When you've got girl children the problem is even more compounded because all of their outfits have a million accessories.

When you are the mother of the small female horde it is downright insane to be lazy with the laundry.  When in that horde you have a 9 year old clothes horse that is WAY into layering, a 5 year old that changes outfits to fit her mood and is also into layering, and a 3 year old who laughs at the concept that one must stop playing to take potty breaks (even when play time is awesome), thus resulting in 3 or more pairs of wet clothes (if she's not in one of her nudist moods).  No one said I was sane...ever.  I've even heard people say, "You are crazy, girl", and sadly its not always said with the joking sarcasm that one would hope for when hearing this statement directed their way.

I'm not crazy though.  I promise...ok I'm not completely crazy all the time.  I mean someone would have to be mildly unhinged to deal with the chaos that is our house on a daily basis.  Its the good kind of chaos, but chaos none the less...I digress.

You know you are a lazy laundress when your husband goes in search of the sock basket instead of looking in his sock drawer because, lets face it, that has happened so incredibly infrequently over the past 13 years that it is now ingrained in him to search out the sock basket before checking his drawer.  I now mess with him occasionally by putting his socks in his drawer, and then don't say anything, just to see how long he will look elsewhere before checking the drawer. (sorry honey)

You know you are a lazy laundress when you try to convince your children that "clothes swimming" could be a competitive sport.  Also how else are they going to find a clean (and wrinkled) shirt to wear off the mound of laundry taking up enough couch space to make our roomy sectional function more like a loveseat.

You know you are a lazy laundress if you would rather take a nap, read a book, or clean the toilet (true story) than sort/wash/fold some laundry.

I miss those days when laundry was a one day activity, and it really only took up the better part of one morning.  Now we have to wash 2-3 loads a day to stay on top of it, and if I put it off for 2-3 days the results are cataclysmic...

This is the clean pile so far.

This is what's waiting to be washed.

These beauties are full to the gills.

This hash't even been sorted into the mix.

This is why I have a love/hate relationship with clothes.  I have jokingly laughed about our family becoming nudists, but honestly I treasure my modesty and friendships to much.  Which I'm sure would end if I started prancing around in my birthday suit.

Also I'm WAY to awesome to let something like a staggering amount of clothes in need of constant laundering get the better of me.  So one of my New Years resolutions this year is to stay on top of the laundry situation, and accustom my children to function on one pair of clothes.  Sleeping in the nude is acceptable right?  I'm kidding!  Kind of...sort of...just make sure to give a call after 7 if you need to stop by.